I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
