im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
