i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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