do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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