it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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