He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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