are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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