He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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