You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
