Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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