there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
