dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
