So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
