I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
