dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
