I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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