I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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