i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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