Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
