Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you still have your period?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
worst night to have a conscience
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
