Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
