so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am one with the molecules
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
