You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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