Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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