having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
