Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
