Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
