she woke up with a sticky ear
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
