come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I touched a dick in church today
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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