"it" just moved
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
