To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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