Your face is a jimmy john
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
