Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
