just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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