I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
