After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
