She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
