the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
