You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
