Too much gin, very little bucket
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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