she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
