I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I will die if light touches me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
