Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Lo siento on account of my penis...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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