Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
