cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
