i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
