but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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