Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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