i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
