oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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