Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
